Agony Aunts -By-Kamlesh Bahukhandiby
on Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 9:17am
The stressful times, the 24x7 busy schedules, the communication gaps and a host of other allied and not so allied factors are taking their toll on our daily lives. Highs and lows are quite common psychological problems that many of us face in our day-to-day lives. Therefore, it is not unusual to have stress-buster experts, feel-good recipes, babas, godmen and agony aunts having a field day and contributing their synergies and energies for annihilating all forms of stresses whatsoever, occurring within the realms of the human bodies. The agony aunts never had it so good, ever.
Amicable solutions with their mighty thinking, to posers are the hallmark of these aunties.
Few News channels and no mainstream lifestyle magazine is complete without words of wisdom from agony aunts. The problems are routine and the solutions are apparently more routine. Some posers go thus, “Madam, I have a Secretary who’s so beautiful and amazingly efficient, that my husband is getting a crush on her. My domestic and office life have become a dungeon and a hell. What’s your good advice?” Agony Aunt: “Get rid of your deviant husband. You can find a new husband, but a beautiful and amazingly efficient Secretary is amazingly hard to come by.” Another one, “Madam, I am a shy and introvert man of 21. I do not have any friends. How do I make friends?” Agony Aunt: “Concentrate on your work. Do good work. Men and women will automatically see your good work and become friendly with you.” The next poser reminds the agony aunt of her prime years thus- agonised niece:
“Aunty, I am a shy girl of 22 and would like to pursue so many things in life, but do not have the dash and drive. The urge remains, surge, multiplies and kills me. I feel I am wasting my youth on crap pursuits.” Agony Aunt: “I too was shy and reclusive like you. However, some things have changed in my life. To turn into a new leaf, I bought myself a motorbike. That gave me the new found poise, confidence and élan. Then I went on a male-bashing spree, making male chauvinists my targets. Rise and act.” A heart-rending, sordid tale of a young lover rattles the aunt.
Young man: “Madam, I have loved a girl since ten years on the sly. Our parents did not have inkling about this. Her marriage was fixed with someone else and I planned to elope with her the day before D-day. Things went on at clockwork precision and we fled to a local hotel. The next day, local newspapers flashed our photos and her dad announced a reward of Rs 1 lakh. A hotel room boy got in touch with her dad and pocketed the Rs 1 lakh. This crash landing of our love-plane has made my life treacherous and miserable. I am a moron. The girl’s marriage cancellation, due to the love affair being exposed has given me some breathing time by default. Where do I go from here?” Agony Aunt: “You should have seen a Bollywood film. Since your problem is film-based, the solution will have to be film-based. Don’t see ‘Quayamat Se Quayamat Tak,’ where the lovers die. See the 1981 ‘Love Story,’ not the 1942 ‘Love Story’ stuff. Kumar Gaurav and Vijeta have portrayed their love life so well. And for God’s sake, steer clear of any hotel this time.
"Another one from a pilot this time around, “I have married an airhostess who drew more basic pay than me. I am also the leader of the Pilot’s Guild and we have been demanding higher pay, this being one of the prime but hidden reasons. Now our pay structure stands totally revised. However, my better half has started some part-time business, to earn some extra bucks. This is solely aimed at outwitting me on the financial front. Please guide me.” Agony Aunt: “Since ages, the male bastion’s mainstay has been the male one-upmanship and ego. You must forget for a while that you are a male. Let the airhostess, businesswoman share the fruits of her enterprising ways. Please also tell me if you can allow me to use your tale of woe as the main plot, for my next paperback.” The British satirist Miles Kingston wonders whom agony aunts should turn to, should they be besieged and depressed with agonising problems. Kingston himself provides the clue saying they should approach “Auntie Auntie,” the Queen of Agony Aunts, who exclusively deals with agony aunt’s problems.
Share:You, Dr. Rajeev Shrivastava, Shalmali Gokhale, Deveika Menon and 2 others like this.
Deveika Menon :That's quite an entertaining agony Aunt.. generally these agony aunts are pretty agonising themselves.. rofl..
Well people and problems are a package and as long as the world runs this agonising show with aunts would run too...
Absolutely lo...ved the humorous way in which you've handled the article.. good one.. a fun read..:))See More
Avinash Bhondwe Apart from the TV channels, we all have these agony aunts in our life.........truly entertainig.
Bishwanath Singh :
Thanks for sharing a very thoughtful presentation!. It's true that in all walks of our lives, we come across quiet often such mystic and entertaining agony aunts who boast themselves to be answer to all our problems. Few of them are cheater...s who will try to pick pocket one's purse by puzzling him /her with all sort of rubbish answer. There are few who are exceptionally good who lend good advice and help others to sort out their problems and come out with their remedial measures. Let us salute all those Agony Aunts who are exceptionally fine and always in readiness to help others!
entertaining note on myriad stresses and their novel solutions as provided by so called agony aunts!!!!
thanks for sharing!
Shalmali Gokhale oh....that's old concept Kamalesh....they were very much there when all this media except some magazines and newspapers was not existing.....as stress levels and types of problems increased....their importance and necessity increased too.....i doubt how many of them are serious in their attitudes.....well written Kamalesh....:))
I adore the way you write sir , here agony aunt seems be very funny assisting people with their problems.
So does any one want top make hell of her life seeking help from such agony aunts .Humors r